boys & men & girls & women & what you deserve.

This might be a little bit of a different blog than what I normally write. I guess i just really feel led to bring to the surface romantic relationships and how to do them correctly. I have had my fair share of hits & misses with this subject (more misses than hits. HA!), but those misses have only showed me what I am looking for in a guy. This can relate to guys as well so if you are male and are reading this, don't leave yet!

Men vs Boys:

1. A boy may talk with you about Christ.. but a man will show you Christ through his actions.
2. A boy may be nice to you.. but a man will honor you and lift you up.
3. A boy may make you feel like you are in competition with other girls.. but a man will not lead you on or make you feel like you have to fight for his affections.
4. A boy will be caught up in what people think of him and his image.. but a man will realize that he has a bigger purpose beyond what people are saying of him.
5. A boy may have "Christ follower" written in his bio on social media.. but a man will have it written on his heart.
6. A boy may send you bible verse text messages... but a man will live those verses out.
7. A boy may "accidentally" try to compromise your purity... but a man will make sure your purity is always intact and won't try to compromise that.
8. A boy may get caught up in the moment.. but a man will live for the bigger picture.
9. A boy may compliment you... but a man will uplift you.
10. A boy may make excuses... but a man will be honest with himself and you.

Women vs Girls:

1. A girl may have a beautiful face... but a woman will have a beautiful heart.
2. A girl may dress modestly...but a women will have modesty woven throughout her whole being.
3. A girl may have a bible verse in her twitter bio... but a women will have the verse written on her heart.
4. A girl may make you feel special... but a woman will make sure that you know you have no competition.
5. A girl may talk with you about Christ... but a woman will show you Christ through her actions.
6. A girl may care about her outward appearance... but a woman knows that that is not all that is important.
7. A girl may say kind things about people... but a woman will uplift people in every way.
8. A girl may have a lot of friends... but a woman will surround herself with people who lead her closer to Christ.
9. A girl may say that she puts God first... but a woman will show that she put Him above all else.
10. A girl may pressure you... but a woman will make sure to never put you or herself in compromising situations.

As you can see, there are so many differences between a Christian girl/boy and a Godly woman/man. This is not all that makes a woman or a man either. It is very difficult to find someone who is focused on the bigger picture and is truly living their lives to glorify the Lord and I do believe that the reason no relationship of mine has ever really lasted is because I have been looking for the wrong kind of guy. I do not want to date a boy. I want to date a man.. (I know that sounds incredibly basic and like something one of those "Typical White Girl" twitter accounts would tweet, but it is so so true ;'] ). I am no longer looking for someone. I am giving that whole part of my life up to the Lord because I am not interested in dating any other guys who are only partially in it or are only partially following the Lord. But it is not always the guy's fault. I know that I have much to work on emotionally and spiritually. The Lord isn't finished with me yet and I know that I am not in a place right now where a relationship is a good idea. One day, I will be able to grow in the Lord with someone else, but until that day comes I will continue to pursue Him on my own. I am in no rush. I've got my whole life ahead of me! I'm also in no rush to finish this post because I have a whole other section... YEAH!!!

You don't deserve - You do deserve:

• You don't deserve someone who leads you on. You do deserve someone who makes their intentions fully known from the start. If you have been "talking" to someone for months and they have made no effort to make anything else of it, get out of it. Unless there is a really good reason for the long wait, it isn't worth feeling like you aren't good enough to be their only one.

• You don't deserve someone who takes FOREVER to reply to your texts/ calls. You do deserve someone who gets back to you as soon as they can. I know this sounds rather silly, but it is so true. If I really, really, want to talk to someone I will literally reply in ten seconds unless I am super duper busy or something. If they can't take ten seconds to reply to you, you probably don't mean that much to them. I'm not saying to expect your boyfriend/girlfriend to reply to you EVERY SINGLE SECOND of the day, but come on guys. We live in 2015. I know you have your phone and it isn't that big of an inconvenience to reply to a text. hahaha I'm saying this to myself because recently I have gotten TERRIBLE at replying... :|

• You don't deserve someone who always picks their friends over you. You do deserve someone who will choose you most of the time. I know the whole "bros before hoes" and "chicks before... well you know where this is going.." thing is really popular nowadays, but that should not be how it really is. If you are dating someone who will ditch you in a instant to hang with their friends or who will squeeze you in around their busy friend schedule, that is not what you deserve. You deserve someone who knows what a healthy balance between hanging with the guys and spending time with his girlfriend is (or if you're a guy, someone who knows what a healthy balance between girl time and spending time with her boyfriend is). I'm not saying that if you are in a relationship you must spend every waking moment with that person or else you suck. I'm saying that if you are in a relationship, you should truly want to spend time with that other person a lot. I've been in a relationship where I was almost always either ditched for his friends or squeezed in around his crazy party life. And it made me feel so worthless. That isn't what you deserve people!

• You don't deserve someone who tries to hide you. You do deserve someone who shows you off. If you are dating someone and they seem to plan all of your dates and hangouts in places that aren't very crowded or only takes you to the late show at the movies or you are always hanging out at your house or his house, that might be a bit of a red flag... if someone really, truly likes you and has the right intentions, they won't hide you. They would be more than happy to show you off to their friends or to post a picture of the two of you on instagram. Don't settle for being someone's hidden love. 

• You don't deserve someone who only hears you. You do deserve someone who listens to you. If you talk to someone and it seems to go in one ear and right out the other, rethink some things. When someone really cares about you, the things you have to say have a lot of importance. Don't settle for someone who could care less about the conversations the two of you have.

• You don't deserve someone who knows nothing about you. You do deserve someone who remembers small details about you. Okay. This is probably one of the biggest things for me. It doesn't matter who or what, but if we are listening to music and someone (friend, family, or boyfriend) says something like "hey, Emily. Isn't this like one of your favorite songs? I know you really like this kind of music!" it makes my day. If someone remembers how I like my coffee or what my favorite color is or sees a sunflower and says something about how they know I love those, I just get super happy. People remembering little details about me just is so so so so meaningful to me. Little makes me happier than knowing that someone cares enough to pay attention to tiny details about my personality like that. If you have been dating someone for a while and they can't even recall your favorite color or the type of music you really enjoy, that could be a red flag that they don't really pay too much attention to you... and you deserve someone who wants to know everything about you. Someone who remembers that I hate potato chips and that I literally love everything about Ed Sheeran and that sunflowers are probably my most favorite things on the planet.

• You don't deserve someone who thinks your passions are silly. You do deserve someone who, even if they don't share the same passion as you, still finds it really awesome that you enjoy something so much. Knowing someone's passion is really inspiring to me. I love when I'm talking to someone about something that they really enjoy and you can tell how much they love it by the way that their eyes light up. That's so amazing to me. If the person you are dating gets annoyed when you talk about the things you find interesting, they may not truly be in it for you. You deserve someone who would gladly sit and listen to you ramble about your love for basketball and all of your favorite basketball players even if they know absolutely nothing about it. You deserve someone who would love to look at your photography portfolio and to hear the stories about the photos in it even if they don't know the difference between bokeh and white balance (you know I had to throw in some photography language hehe). 

• You don't deserve someone who belittles your opinions. You do deserve someone who, even if they don't share the same opinion, can carry on a conversation with you about it without making you feel absolutely idiotic for feeling differently than them about something. Having different viewpoints on a topic is not a bad thing.. in fact it's a way to keep life interesting. Debating things is something that I actually really enjoy. But there is a difference between a lively debate and someone trashing your views. If the person you are dating can't accept your opinion and your differences, "drop em like it's hot" -Snoop Dog. ;)

• You don't deserve someone who texts, snapchats, or hangs out with lots of other girls(or guys if you're a male). You do deserve someone who will always show you that they are only interested in a relationship with you. I'm not saying you need to have weekly checks on your girlfriend's phone/ twitter DM's. I'm saying that you don't deserve someone who can't be satisfied by just talking to you. If the person you are dating has three other ladies on reserve, Snoop Dog quote him again. NO BOY OR GIRL IS WORTH THE PAIN OF FEELING LIKE YOU CAN NOT BE ENOUGH. And let me tell you, it sure does suck to know that the guy (or girl) you are dating or talking to can't be happy only talking to you. I've been there. If the guy you are interested in has a bit of a history of being a "tool", you may want to guard your heart just a little bit. And always remember that U ROCK AND IT ISNT UR FAULT. GIRL POWER! (or boy whatever you are).  I have been kind of hurt in the past so I have a bit of a trust issue sometimes so it is really very hard for me to realize that someone could actually only like me. So something like this is very important to me. I'm not saying to burn your boyfriend at the stake if he texts another girl, but be wary because I've had guys tell me that if a boy keeps texting someone all the time, they are probably not only interested in them as friends. I guess that doesn't apply to all guys but it is still something to look out for.

• You don't deserve someone who will pressure you. You do deserve someone who respects your boundaries. If the girl/guy you are dating seems to pressure you into doing something that you do not feel comfortable with, honey get outta there. If they can't respect your purity, they are not worth the pain. Don't do anything that you will later regret (even if you don't regret it in the moment). It's just so much better to wait. Nothing is worth the pain of realizing that you gave something away that you never can ever get back. But always remember that no matter what, you are forgiven in the Lord's eyes if you just come to Him. He will wash you white as snow. BETTER THAN CLOROX!!!!!

• You don't deserve someone who only takes from you. You do deserve someone who makes sure it is a win-win/ 50-50 relationship. If the person you are with seems to drain everything out of you and you feel like you are doing all of the work, why are you in it? A relationship is supposed to make you happy and uplift you. If all it is doing is bringing you down, LEAVE. Again, nothing is worth that pain.

• You don't deserve someone who hits you. You deserve someone who would never physically hurt you. I know this kind of thing typically is told to all mah sistas out there, but it could totally apply to guys to. If you get in an argument with your girlfriend and she starts slapping and hitting you... whatttttt.... no. Don't stand for that! Maybe she isn't as strong as you, but its the thought that is behind it. Its a physical thing that is meant to cause pain. That isn't very nice.... and the same thing goes to my ladies. If your guy is hitting you.... NONONO leave that guy because he is a boy and he is not worth it. Do not take any of that "it will never happen again" crap because, odds are, it will. You are not a punching bag. You are a child of the Most High!!!

• You don't deserve someone who constantly tries to argue with you. You do deserve someone who can works through disagreements without making it into a huge fight. I've never really understood fights... maybe thats because I'm literally the most passive aggressive person you will ever meet. Honestly. I am never mad. I can't get mad. Punch me.. I'll just look at you like a sad puppy. Talk about me... i'll just look at you like a sad puppy. Kill my family... I'll just look at you like a sad puppy. Okay, so the last one is not really true. I'd probably be a lil salty with you if you murdered my loved ones. But anyways. If you are dating someone and it seems like everything that happens results in a fight or an argument.. rethink some things. A relationships should not be an episode of Jersey Shore. You don't have to yell about everything. Calm down. Count to ten. Then try discussing things.

• You don't deserve someone who makes you question their relationship with Christ. You do deserve someone who shows that they trust the Lord with everything inside of them. If your significant other makes you think "What? I thought you were different than this..." a lot, take a step back babe. Your bf/gf should be strong enough in their faith that they can hold you accountable and they should trust in God with their whole being (and you the same). That kind of relationship is one that will last. And dating is just seeing if someone could possibly be suitable for marriage. I know that I do not want to be married to someone who's faith I question. This doesn't mean that you should abandon your boyfriend if he is going through big doubts or is facing temptation or a struggle in his faith. You should be there to support him through that. This is if you have never seen him truly living for God even if he professes it with his words. Words are meaningless without actions to back them up. 

• You don't deserve someone who says they will call and doesn't. You do deserve someone who will call when they say they will. If your boyfriend tells you that he will call you at nine, he should call you at nine. If he really can't, don't bust your cap but I for one know that ten minutes isn't that big of a deal and if they can't set aside those few minutes to talk with you when they tell you they will, thats not very nice. But don't go breaking down his door in fury if he calls at 9:02 or if he doesn't call because his grandmother died... that is silly. But if he (or she) doesn't have a reason as to why he couldn't, that isn't good. This also goes for dates. If they just don't come to get you when they say they will....LEAVE. Being stood up sucks and if they really wanted to see you, they would be there for sure. trust me.

• To end this crazy long list: You don't deserve someone who is a child in their faith. You deserve someone who loves the Lord with all their heart, mind, and soul and shows that through their words and actions. No further explanation really needed here.

I really hope this will help show you guys what to look for in a guy/girl.. i mean MAN/WOMAN. All in all, if they truly put God first in their life, they will treat you right. So focus on the Lord and let Him mold you into the man/woman He created you to be and your relationship will work out. If you are both focused on lifting up one another and helping them draw near to the Lord, it can't go wrong. Wait for that. It will be so worth it. I'm waiting for that person myself but I am so not worried about it because I'm letting God mold me at the moment. Happy waiting guys :P

emily :)

fasting...in a different way.

what's the first thing that comes to your mind when you hear the word fasting? If you're like me it is probably something along the lines of "uh, no Zaxby's for a long amount of time.." lol. We all assume that fasting is something that is done with food, but that is not always how it has to be.

take lent for example. lent is a forty-day time period leading up to Easter when many Christians choose to give up a delicacy or love of theirs in order to focus more clearly on the promise and love shown to us through the time of easter. many give up something like chocolate or soda or sweet tea, but some choose different route and give up something inedible such as their cellphone, their social media, or maybe their car. it is all about what  will bring you to that place where you can turn your focus away from something on this earth you enjoy and give it to the Lord. but fasting is not something that is only done at lent. you can fast whenever you feel led. there is also not a "time limit" on fasting. it does not always have to be forty days like lent. it can be for a week, ten days, one day, a month... however long you feel led.

if fasting the way most people think of, with food, is something that will bring you to a place of surrender to the Lord then by all means! fast with food! but if, like me, you know there are other things that need to be given up to get to that place of surrender where you are fully focused on the Lord and prayer and truly hearing what He has to say. for me, that was a certain person that I am"fasting" from for a week in order to focus less on them and more on the Lord and His plan for us.

this relates back to idol worship. right now, in my deeper bible study with my wonderful youth leader and some amazing peeps from my youth group, we are studying Gods At War by Kyle Idleman (RECOMMENDED!!!) When something in our life comes before the Lord, nothing will work out. People are not meant to be put on pedestals and worshipped...they were not designed for that. i've been through many times where i put people on pedestals above the Lord and all that led to in my life was pain and years of depression and self-harm that i am just recently recovering from. i refuse to allow anyone in my life to become an idol. i refuse to place people above the Lord because doing so only brings pain and hurt. but placing the Lord on that pedestal, His rightful place, results in joy and happiness and comfort and peace that surpasses all understanding...

..which is why I am on this fast. things happen and my selfish desires and the world take over sometimes and place things above God that were never meant to be there. The Lord will be the center of my life. i will fast indefinitely from all that comes between that because a relationship with the loving Creator of the whole gosh darn universe is so much more fulfilling than a video game or a silly boy or chocolate or twitter or working out (lol bc everything is more fulfilling than working out) or texting or ANYTHING!

so guys, i just want to encourage you guys to fast. fast from something that has been hindering you in your relationship with the Lord.. because nothing is worth giving up your relationship with God (trust me. i've learned this the hard way).. and fasting is a way to take another step closer to becoming the true, joyful followers of Christ that everyone's soul truly longs for (if they realize that or not).

"And when you fast, don't make it obvious, as the hypocrites do, for they try to look miserable and disheveled so people will admire them for their fasting. I tell you the truth, that is the only reward they will ever get.."- matthew 6:16

"the reason why God has such a huge problem with idolatry is that His love for you is all consuming. He loves you too much to share you.." -Gods at War - Kyle Idleman

community in Christ.

Sunday night at my church's "Crash-a-House" at Josh's, I just was overwhelmed with the love I have for my youth family. I love all of them so much and the sense of community I get from being around them is amazing. These guys are all my best friends.

There is this feeling like none other when I am at church or surrounded by people when we are discussing God or simply doing things in His name. It's just this awesome overwhelming feeling of happiness and fullness and I never want to leave when it happens!

I am also blessed with the people I am given the privilege of doing life with. I have such great parents  who do so much for me and love me even when I mess up and take them for granted. They are freaky weird and totally embarrassing but I wouldn't have it any other way (I may eat my words on that one hahahaha).  I have some awesome friends who encourage me in my faith and make me want to be a better person. They make me laugh when I'm down and they're always around when I need them. I have a great family who never fails to put a smile on my face when we are together. Like, Christmas is so awesome at my house! I have an amazing youth pastor, Ashley, who is my role model and shows to me a great example of a leader and a woman after God's own heart. I am blessed without measure with the people God has placed in my life.

My youth family is so awesome, I just had to say it again. These guys have been there for me through it all. They've been a shoulder to cry on, ears to listen, friends to laugh with, and a rock to support me when I need it. I honestly do not know what I am going to do without them next year. College (or wherever God takes me) will be an awesome journey, but what keeps me strong is knowing that my wonderful youth, church, friends, parents, and family will be here for me still whenever I need them.

This sense of community is so so important, guys. We're not called to be alone in our faith. Yes, our faith is to be a personal relationship with the Creator, but God designed our faith to be lived in harmony and community with our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. You can't live this life alone. You need God and you need others.  (Of course you need God more, but that goes without saying haha). These people will be there to listen to you, to support you, to pick you up when you fall, and to be your partners in accountability. "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another"-Proverbs 27:17

Have a great day blessed with love and the strength of community!
emily

my prayer on this september night.

God,
Listening to "God of This City" just really humbled me. Lord, I know that You are truly the Lord of all things. You really do control everything. I am so, so tiny and small in comparison to this world and Lord, even smaller when compared to You. God, I am so insignificant that it amazes me that You, the Creator of literally EVERYTHING loves me with this deep passionate love that I can't comprehend or even begin to return...

THERE IS NO ONE LIKE OUR GOD!

You have so many amazing plans for my life, Lord, It amazes me and perplexes me that You have such plans for me God. And not only do You have my plans in mind, Lord, but everyone who has, is, and will walk on this earth..

AND TIME IS IN HIS HANDS, BEGINNING AND THE END!

You are so great, God! Actually, great does not describe You. My human vocabulary is not worthy of a word to describe the way that You are, God.

NAME ABOVE ALL NAMES!

WORTHY OF ALL PRAISE!

HOW GREAT IS OUR GOD!

Lord, but I am holding onto some disbelief.. I am so scared that maybe You aren't there.. maybe You aren't there because why do I, an insignificant being, deserve such great love as has been shown and described and revealed to me?

But God, Your love isn't like the love I see on earth...Your love isn't the love that will grow tired of loving. It won't leave when the going gets rough or there is something better to love. Your love isn't a love in vain. Your love isn't fleeting. Your love isn't deceitful. Your love is strong and firm. Your love is unconditional. Your love is everlasting. Your love is true. Your love won't leave me wanting...

I want to give into this love... YOUR love, Lord!
emily

beautiful feet.

So, I was listening to Lecrae’s new album, Anomaly, the other day and I heard his song Dirty Water. (Side note: This album is the stuff. If you haven’t heard it yet, go listen to it right now. It’s so amazing) Well, the song talks about going to all of these foreign countries and doing all of these great things, but coming home and going about normal business and not doing anything to help change the community and people around you. Or maybe that is not what it said at all. It’s rap so it’s a bit hard to understand.. :P Anyways, if that is not what the song is saying, then oops. But from my understanding of it, this is what I began thinking about..

Yes, we are called to the Great Commission in Matthew 28:16-20,

“Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. When they saw him, they worshipped him; but some doubted. Then Jesus came to them and said, ‘All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.’

      … and yes, we are to make disciples are all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. But the Great Commission is not only a call to go to foreign nations and do what the Lord has commanded. I feel like many times, we disregard the places around us. We forget that we can fulfill the Great Commission right in our backyards. America is a nation. To be a missionary, you do not have to travel halfway around the world. To feed the hungry you do not have to go to Africa. To clothe the poor, you do not have to go to Indonesia. Yes, those things are amazing and if you feel called to go do those things in those places by all means GO! Do what the Lord is calling you to do in the place that the Lord is calling you to. But remember, there are lost people in your own city. There are hungry people in the same county as you. There are poor to clothe right down the street from you. We walk past homeless and hungry people on the street every single day. Do they deserve the love and mercy of Christ any less than the people in Africa? No!

Someone can be just as much of a missionary by attending college and sharing and spreading the Gospel and the love of God as they can by joining a mission group, living in Tanzania for year and sharing God’s love that way. I am in no way downing going to foreign countries to be a missionary because that is such an amazing and noble pursuit and if you are doing that right now, thank the Lord for people like you going to all nations. But if you are a university student, a soccer mom, a butcher, a ninth grade literature teacher or a nurse at a retirement home, that is your mission field.Do not feel like you cannot be a missionary because you are in America. Being a missionary is not about where you are, but what you are doing and Who you are doing it for. 

“For everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved. How then will they call on Him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in Him of who they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching? And how are they to preach unless they are sent? As it is written, ‘How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the good news!’” - Romans 10:13-15

I hope you all will have beautiful feet.. 

emily 

overlooked.

There are so many amazing things and songs and verses that we look over. This has been on my heart recently. i think of the song Amazing Grace -  a song everyone knows, right? but does everyone REALLY know that song? people sing it with their mouths, but they don't sing it with their lives and with their hearts. and that's what that song is supposed to be for. there is so much overlooked power in those lyrics. "my chains are gone, I've been set free.." Yes we have been set free. COMPLETELY SET FREE. we are not held back by the pain and suffering and mistakes of our past.. instead we have this view of the future and we have this life and this light that is just so amazing that our old lives seem so irrelevant and awful to us now. that's what those "cliche" and "well known" lyrics are actually saying. and if that much can come from those eight words, think just how much can be discovered through the rest of the lyrics! I challenge everyone who is reading this to look up the lyrics to Amazing Grace right now and decipher the lyrics with the guidance of the Holy Spirit. your world will be turned upside down just like mine was! pray that The Lord would show you His mercy and meaning through simple things like a song or a strong breeze or a smile of a stranger. little things have so much meaning.

have an amazing night, brothers and sisters.

I'm a slacker... I think.

I said I would keep this blog up, but I guess I lied. Oopsie. But I'm going to from now on, so here is goes..

I have identity issues. I don't really know who I am opposed to who everyone wants me to be or who the world tells me that I am. And it is really difficult to sort through all of those lies to find the truth about who I really am. So here is the question of the day - Who are you really, Emily Kathryn Combs? That is a question that I can't really answer right now. I am hoping that when I go away to college and I meet new people and see different perspectives and ways of thinking that I will understand who I am and will be able to sort through all of the lies to find that real person, but for now I am stuck in this fog of not understanding and not knowing. There are so many things that I have told people that I like or don't like or want to do or don't want to do that are actually the complete opposite. Like law - I hate it. Politics? I don't honestly care about them all that much. I do care about human rights though like gun control and abortion and gay marriage. The color pink isn't all that bad, but I do still hate the color purple and sparkles for the most part. I still hate math and I love writing more than anything. I secretly do it all the time and am writing a book right now. (I bet that's something no one knew.) Truthfully, the one thing I know for sure about myself is that I am completely overwhelmed by nature and how beautiful it is. It is the most amazing thing in the entire world to me and when I'm surrounded by it, I feel at ease like I never do. I want the rest of my life to have something to do with nature and I want to be around it forever. That is all that I truly know about myself. It's crazy how you can build yourself up as being this certain person and then suddenly, you realize that that person is as far away from the real you as possible. But I'm going to find that real person some day. Some day soon.