fasting...in a different way.

what's the first thing that comes to your mind when you hear the word fasting? If you're like me it is probably something along the lines of "uh, no Zaxby's for a long amount of time.." lol. We all assume that fasting is something that is done with food, but that is not always how it has to be.

take lent for example. lent is a forty-day time period leading up to Easter when many Christians choose to give up a delicacy or love of theirs in order to focus more clearly on the promise and love shown to us through the time of easter. many give up something like chocolate or soda or sweet tea, but some choose different route and give up something inedible such as their cellphone, their social media, or maybe their car. it is all about what  will bring you to that place where you can turn your focus away from something on this earth you enjoy and give it to the Lord. but fasting is not something that is only done at lent. you can fast whenever you feel led. there is also not a "time limit" on fasting. it does not always have to be forty days like lent. it can be for a week, ten days, one day, a month... however long you feel led.

if fasting the way most people think of, with food, is something that will bring you to a place of surrender to the Lord then by all means! fast with food! but if, like me, you know there are other things that need to be given up to get to that place of surrender where you are fully focused on the Lord and prayer and truly hearing what He has to say. for me, that was a certain person that I am"fasting" from for a week in order to focus less on them and more on the Lord and His plan for us.

this relates back to idol worship. right now, in my deeper bible study with my wonderful youth leader and some amazing peeps from my youth group, we are studying Gods At War by Kyle Idleman (RECOMMENDED!!!) When something in our life comes before the Lord, nothing will work out. People are not meant to be put on pedestals and worshipped...they were not designed for that. i've been through many times where i put people on pedestals above the Lord and all that led to in my life was pain and years of depression and self-harm that i am just recently recovering from. i refuse to allow anyone in my life to become an idol. i refuse to place people above the Lord because doing so only brings pain and hurt. but placing the Lord on that pedestal, His rightful place, results in joy and happiness and comfort and peace that surpasses all understanding...

..which is why I am on this fast. things happen and my selfish desires and the world take over sometimes and place things above God that were never meant to be there. The Lord will be the center of my life. i will fast indefinitely from all that comes between that because a relationship with the loving Creator of the whole gosh darn universe is so much more fulfilling than a video game or a silly boy or chocolate or twitter or working out (lol bc everything is more fulfilling than working out) or texting or ANYTHING!

so guys, i just want to encourage you guys to fast. fast from something that has been hindering you in your relationship with the Lord.. because nothing is worth giving up your relationship with God (trust me. i've learned this the hard way).. and fasting is a way to take another step closer to becoming the true, joyful followers of Christ that everyone's soul truly longs for (if they realize that or not).

"And when you fast, don't make it obvious, as the hypocrites do, for they try to look miserable and disheveled so people will admire them for their fasting. I tell you the truth, that is the only reward they will ever get.."- matthew 6:16

"the reason why God has such a huge problem with idolatry is that His love for you is all consuming. He loves you too much to share you.." -Gods at War - Kyle Idleman

community in Christ.

Sunday night at my church's "Crash-a-House" at Josh's, I just was overwhelmed with the love I have for my youth family. I love all of them so much and the sense of community I get from being around them is amazing. These guys are all my best friends.

There is this feeling like none other when I am at church or surrounded by people when we are discussing God or simply doing things in His name. It's just this awesome overwhelming feeling of happiness and fullness and I never want to leave when it happens!

I am also blessed with the people I am given the privilege of doing life with. I have such great parents  who do so much for me and love me even when I mess up and take them for granted. They are freaky weird and totally embarrassing but I wouldn't have it any other way (I may eat my words on that one hahahaha).  I have some awesome friends who encourage me in my faith and make me want to be a better person. They make me laugh when I'm down and they're always around when I need them. I have a great family who never fails to put a smile on my face when we are together. Like, Christmas is so awesome at my house! I have an amazing youth pastor, Ashley, who is my role model and shows to me a great example of a leader and a woman after God's own heart. I am blessed without measure with the people God has placed in my life.

My youth family is so awesome, I just had to say it again. These guys have been there for me through it all. They've been a shoulder to cry on, ears to listen, friends to laugh with, and a rock to support me when I need it. I honestly do not know what I am going to do without them next year. College (or wherever God takes me) will be an awesome journey, but what keeps me strong is knowing that my wonderful youth, church, friends, parents, and family will be here for me still whenever I need them.

This sense of community is so so important, guys. We're not called to be alone in our faith. Yes, our faith is to be a personal relationship with the Creator, but God designed our faith to be lived in harmony and community with our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. You can't live this life alone. You need God and you need others.  (Of course you need God more, but that goes without saying haha). These people will be there to listen to you, to support you, to pick you up when you fall, and to be your partners in accountability. "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another"-Proverbs 27:17

Have a great day blessed with love and the strength of community!
emily

my prayer on this september night.

God,
Listening to "God of This City" just really humbled me. Lord, I know that You are truly the Lord of all things. You really do control everything. I am so, so tiny and small in comparison to this world and Lord, even smaller when compared to You. God, I am so insignificant that it amazes me that You, the Creator of literally EVERYTHING loves me with this deep passionate love that I can't comprehend or even begin to return...

THERE IS NO ONE LIKE OUR GOD!

You have so many amazing plans for my life, Lord, It amazes me and perplexes me that You have such plans for me God. And not only do You have my plans in mind, Lord, but everyone who has, is, and will walk on this earth..

AND TIME IS IN HIS HANDS, BEGINNING AND THE END!

You are so great, God! Actually, great does not describe You. My human vocabulary is not worthy of a word to describe the way that You are, God.

NAME ABOVE ALL NAMES!

WORTHY OF ALL PRAISE!

HOW GREAT IS OUR GOD!

Lord, but I am holding onto some disbelief.. I am so scared that maybe You aren't there.. maybe You aren't there because why do I, an insignificant being, deserve such great love as has been shown and described and revealed to me?

But God, Your love isn't like the love I see on earth...Your love isn't the love that will grow tired of loving. It won't leave when the going gets rough or there is something better to love. Your love isn't a love in vain. Your love isn't fleeting. Your love isn't deceitful. Your love is strong and firm. Your love is unconditional. Your love is everlasting. Your love is true. Your love won't leave me wanting...

I want to give into this love... YOUR love, Lord!
emily

beautiful feet.

So, I was listening to Lecrae’s new album, Anomaly, the other day and I heard his song Dirty Water. (Side note: This album is the stuff. If you haven’t heard it yet, go listen to it right now. It’s so amazing) Well, the song talks about going to all of these foreign countries and doing all of these great things, but coming home and going about normal business and not doing anything to help change the community and people around you. Or maybe that is not what it said at all. It’s rap so it’s a bit hard to understand.. :P Anyways, if that is not what the song is saying, then oops. But from my understanding of it, this is what I began thinking about..

Yes, we are called to the Great Commission in Matthew 28:16-20,

“Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. When they saw him, they worshipped him; but some doubted. Then Jesus came to them and said, ‘All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.’

      … and yes, we are to make disciples are all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. But the Great Commission is not only a call to go to foreign nations and do what the Lord has commanded. I feel like many times, we disregard the places around us. We forget that we can fulfill the Great Commission right in our backyards. America is a nation. To be a missionary, you do not have to travel halfway around the world. To feed the hungry you do not have to go to Africa. To clothe the poor, you do not have to go to Indonesia. Yes, those things are amazing and if you feel called to go do those things in those places by all means GO! Do what the Lord is calling you to do in the place that the Lord is calling you to. But remember, there are lost people in your own city. There are hungry people in the same county as you. There are poor to clothe right down the street from you. We walk past homeless and hungry people on the street every single day. Do they deserve the love and mercy of Christ any less than the people in Africa? No!

Someone can be just as much of a missionary by attending college and sharing and spreading the Gospel and the love of God as they can by joining a mission group, living in Tanzania for year and sharing God’s love that way. I am in no way downing going to foreign countries to be a missionary because that is such an amazing and noble pursuit and if you are doing that right now, thank the Lord for people like you going to all nations. But if you are a university student, a soccer mom, a butcher, a ninth grade literature teacher or a nurse at a retirement home, that is your mission field.Do not feel like you cannot be a missionary because you are in America. Being a missionary is not about where you are, but what you are doing and Who you are doing it for. 

“For everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved. How then will they call on Him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in Him of who they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching? And how are they to preach unless they are sent? As it is written, ‘How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the good news!’” - Romans 10:13-15

I hope you all will have beautiful feet.. 

emily 

overlooked.

There are so many amazing things and songs and verses that we look over. This has been on my heart recently. i think of the song Amazing Grace -  a song everyone knows, right? but does everyone REALLY know that song? people sing it with their mouths, but they don't sing it with their lives and with their hearts. and that's what that song is supposed to be for. there is so much overlooked power in those lyrics. "my chains are gone, I've been set free.." Yes we have been set free. COMPLETELY SET FREE. we are not held back by the pain and suffering and mistakes of our past.. instead we have this view of the future and we have this life and this light that is just so amazing that our old lives seem so irrelevant and awful to us now. that's what those "cliche" and "well known" lyrics are actually saying. and if that much can come from those eight words, think just how much can be discovered through the rest of the lyrics! I challenge everyone who is reading this to look up the lyrics to Amazing Grace right now and decipher the lyrics with the guidance of the Holy Spirit. your world will be turned upside down just like mine was! pray that The Lord would show you His mercy and meaning through simple things like a song or a strong breeze or a smile of a stranger. little things have so much meaning.

have an amazing night, brothers and sisters.

I'm a slacker... I think.

I said I would keep this blog up, but I guess I lied. Oopsie. But I'm going to from now on, so here is goes..

I have identity issues. I don't really know who I am opposed to who everyone wants me to be or who the world tells me that I am. And it is really difficult to sort through all of those lies to find the truth about who I really am. So here is the question of the day - Who are you really, Emily Kathryn Combs? That is a question that I can't really answer right now. I am hoping that when I go away to college and I meet new people and see different perspectives and ways of thinking that I will understand who I am and will be able to sort through all of the lies to find that real person, but for now I am stuck in this fog of not understanding and not knowing. There are so many things that I have told people that I like or don't like or want to do or don't want to do that are actually the complete opposite. Like law - I hate it. Politics? I don't honestly care about them all that much. I do care about human rights though like gun control and abortion and gay marriage. The color pink isn't all that bad, but I do still hate the color purple and sparkles for the most part. I still hate math and I love writing more than anything. I secretly do it all the time and am writing a book right now. (I bet that's something no one knew.) Truthfully, the one thing I know for sure about myself is that I am completely overwhelmed by nature and how beautiful it is. It is the most amazing thing in the entire world to me and when I'm surrounded by it, I feel at ease like I never do. I want the rest of my life to have something to do with nature and I want to be around it forever. That is all that I truly know about myself. It's crazy how you can build yourself up as being this certain person and then suddenly, you realize that that person is as far away from the real you as possible. But I'm going to find that real person some day. Some day soon.

In the city.

In the city, everyone walks so quickly. 

They are all so rushed to get where they are going, paying no attention to anything going on around them. 

They don't notice the sweet-smelling roses that the lady on the street corner is selling. 

They don't notice the little boy feeding pigeons bread. 

They don't notice the old man sitting on the bench all alone. 

Or the peculiar way the trees whistle in the harsh winds. 

Or the sparkle of the morning dew on the pansies next to the food cart. 

They don't see these things. 

And they never will. 

Because they are so caught up in the hustle and bustle of the city and the workplace and the what-are-the-kids-going-to-eat-for-dinner and the oh-darn-I-have-a-date-tonight-with-Steve. 

These things are not bad things to think of per se, but when they get in the way of observing the little things going on around you, they can turn destructive. 

They destroy the humanity inside of you.

They destroy your ability to see minute details. 

And those things are so very important. 

I have been staying in the city of Washington DC for a few days now, and I'm noticing these things profoundly.

Take time to see the beauty and it will make you see everything in a different light. 

One where you see things that people typically consider to be normal, but instead of seeing typical, you see extraordinary beauty. 

In the little things. 

So next time you're in the city:

Slow down and look at the flowers being sold by the lady on the street corner and buy a few roses for your cubicle. 

Give the little boy your leftover bagel from breakfast to feed to his little bird friends.

Instead of taking your extra ten minutes to purchase yourself a grande white chocolate mocha from Starbucks to kick off your day, strike up a conversation with the old man on the park bench. 

Stop and stare at the leaves on the whistling tree. 

Pick one of the pansies next to the food cart, shake off the dew, and put it on your co-worker's filing cabinet to brighten her day. 

Now you will see these things. 

You will always see them. 

Beauty everywhere.

I was driving down the road that I drive every single day at least 4 times when out of the corner of my eye, I see these beautiful pink flowers growing off to the side.. And not just a few, but a whole lot of them! Usually, things like that would catch my eye right off the bat so I know they had not always been there. So I pulled over and whipped out my handy Nikon D3200 (sorry I am just a bit excited about this new camera) and begin to take some shots.. And then suddenly it began to P O U R ! But I kept shooting and got soaked. It was worth it though because I got some beautiful pictures!

I just love how nature makes such beautiful things naturally. It is one of my favorite parts of life and capturing those beautiful things on camera makes me so happy.

You can see the photos I took on my Flickr here.

What are we searching for?

We spend our whole lives searching for someone to save us

We want someone to be our rock

We want someone who will be there for us throughout our whole lives

We do everything to find this person

But maybe

Just maybe

We were meant to save ourselves

Stop and smell the roses.

We're all so caught up in the future. We want the future to come as fast as it possibly can. I am just as guilty - if not more!- or this as the next person. I cannot wait for the next chapter in my life. I want something new now! But if I keep living with this mindset, I am going to miss out on the beauty of now. We all need to chill out sometimes, look at life as it currently is, and accept that we are where we are for now and there is nothing we can do about it. If we don't slow down, we're going to miss out on so much. Imagine you are rushing to get to movie that starts in ten minutes. You are walking so fast and ignoring everything else that you end up passing right by a person who could change your life forever. If you would have just calmed down and realized that it is okay to be a few minutes late, you could have met this person and fallen in love or met the person who will become your child'd godmother. It's crazy what you miss when you're in a rush.

So follow your mom's advice and take a chill pill! Life is what is happening now so live it.

These are a few of my favorite things.

When you're getting to know someone, typical questions are asked. These range from "what's your mom's name?" to "what is your favorite color?". But these questions are so shallow.. People are not their favorite colors or their mother's name. They are their passions, and their ambitions, and the things that they stay up until 3am on Tuesday nights thinking about when they cannot sleep. I say, as a society, we should stop asking people their favorite colors and focus on the things that actually matter and the things that truly make a person who they are on the inside. These are a few of MY favorite things:

-Driving down the road and seeing someone jamming out to their song while driving.

-Going through the drive-thru and receiving the wrong order. I see it as an excuse to try something new.

-The look on someone's face when they see something amazingly beautiful for the first time (or even the 1,353th time) like a perfectly-colored sunset or a rushing waterfall.

-Babies giggling.

-Babies in general.

-Seeing older couples who are still in total love with each other. (I hope I have that one day..)

-The sparkle in someone's eyes when they talk about something they are passionate about.

-Sunsets.

-Nature. There is nothing more real or more beautiful.. ever. It is my most favorite thing.

-The color orange. (Shallow, but I love it because it is a part of sunsets and those make me so happy)

-Those insanely happy moments where your heart feels like it is going to burst.

-Watching a romantic comedy and crying my eyes out all alone where no one can see because it's JUST SO FREAKIN CUTE

-Deep talks.

-The stars. Wow just wow.

-Meeting someone who changes your life.

-Talking with someone for hours and not getting bored.

-Driving too fast with too-loud music for too long and clearing my mind.

-Making an A on a test you thought you failed the everything out of.

-Talking with that one person who understands you.

-Having a heated discussion with someone.. just for fun.

-Cold nights where you can just sit by the fire and think about how beautiful everything is.

-Bonfires with friends.

-Finally telling someone something you have been holding in for too long and the relief you feel after.

-When Mrs. Findley forgets to run our quizzes so we have an extra day to study.. God knows I always need one of those!

-Seeing someone you really missed.

-Seeing people be surprised.

-Being surprised myself.

-When people remember something small about me like how I don't like a certain song or how many sugars I like in my coffee.

-Little things. They mean so so so so much to me.

-When someone asks how I am and honestly wants to make me feel better. Not just because they are curious.

-Being fully accepted.

-When someone keeps a secret without me even asking them to.

-Eye contact.

-When people smell rrreeealllyyy good.

-Action movies.

-Taking pictures.

-Someone telling me that they saw/heard something and it made them think of me.

-Crying really hard and then picking yourself back up, walking away and feeling a whole heck of a lot better.

-Being someone's first choice.

-Green tea on a rainy day while I sit on my porch and listen to the downpour.

-Hammocks.

-People when they laugh with that hearty laugh to the point where they are almost in tears.

-Laughing that way myself.

-Being myself around people that I love.

-Seeing people who are in love interact with each other.

-Dogs.

-Cats.

-My cat.

-My cat again because he's the best.

There are so so so many more things that I love but this is a good many of them. 

Can we ever be fulfilled?

We search our whole lives for something to make us complete. We look for it in people, in places, in hobbies, in academics, in careers, and even in drugs and alcohol. But we never seem to reach that place of true fulfillment. We strive and we push ourselves to the place where we think we will be full and truly happy but we always come up short. Even the things that we think we want more than anything always seem lackluster when we finally get them. Is there any way for us to be full? Is there anything that we can do to reach the point of happiness that we strive for our whole lives? Maybe we aren't meant to be full. Maybe our minds are not wired with the possibility of ever being truly fulfilled. Maybe we are meant to better ourselves and to push forward our whole lives. And if that is the case, then it's best we know now. We should live out lives knowing what we want, but knowing that those things will never truly satisfy us. We should realize that we can be satisfied by many things, but we can't be satisfied forever. Our minds are fickle. We see something, we like it, we go for it, we get it, then we grow bored of it when we see something else that we want more. Think of the toy you wanted when you were a child. You threw a fit and your mother gave in and bought it for you. Then your best friend came over for a play date with her BRAND-NEW-EVEN- COOLER toy and BAM! suddenly your toy just isn't as cool as you thought it was. This is what happens with us in so many things and I believe it is human nature. We alway want more! More! (Not to copy the AT&T commercial, but it is true..) Nothing truly satisfies us as humans. And I think this needs to change. 

We need to understand the value that people and things honestly have. And I believe that if people understood the meaning of things and people, we wouldn't take them for granted and we could, maybe just possibly, be as close to satisfied as our human selves can be. 

It makes us, we make it.

We make it, but does it also make us? It makes us break and it makes us cry helplessly into our pillows at night and it makes us want to end it all and it makes us want to get away from everything and everyone and just start over and it makes us want to scream. But it also makes us laugh and it makes us smile and it makes us giggle with excitement and it makes us want to go to a huge party and it makes us want to run away with someone we love and go on an adventure and it makes us want to love and it makes us want to stay here for as long as we possibly can and it makes us jump and it makes us want to whistle. But while we're in it it makes us gossip and it makes us lie and it makes us murder and it makes us hit and it makes us hate and it makes us laugh at others and it makes us evil and it makes us corrupt and it makes us take advantage of things and it makes us jealous and it makes us compete and it makes us worried and it makes us angry. But while we're in it, it makes us listen and it makes us sympathize and it makes us compassionate and it makes us help and it makes us love so hard that you feel there is nothing else in the world but love and it makes us lead and it makes us hear and it makes us pick others up and it makes us pick ourselves up and it makes us adventurous and it makes us strong and it makes us complete and it makes us ourselves.

What is it? It is life. We all have it and we all love it even if we hate it. We are all living and we are all stuck living even if we don't want to be. So while you are living, live it up because it is truly the only life that you have and if you do not live it the way that you want, there will not be another chance. So say things that you are afraid of saying and love people that you are afraid of loving and go places you are afraid of going and take chances that you are afraid of taking and leave the place you are afraid to leave and do what makes you afraid because being afraid is not always a bad thing. Say things that will make you happy and say things that will make others happy and love the people who make you happy and explore the places that make you happy and do the hobbies that make you happy and be with the person who makes you happy. Because if you are not happy in this life, you have lost your chance. And chances were meant to be taken, not lost. Life is a privilege so do what makes your life the life that you have always wanted your life to be because it is the only life that we have.

Life makes you and you make life so make your life yours..

What is happiness really?

There is something that I have always wondered. What is happiness? People say that they are happy all of the time, but is anyone really, truly, happy? If people were honestly happy, they would never feel sad or empty or lonely or angry because those things are not happiness. Is happy even the same thing as happiness? Happy is an emotion which can be fleeting, but happiness seems to be more than that. Happiness, to me, seems to be something that stays. It doesn't go away when something that is bad in the slightest happens as happy does. Happiness is a semi-permanent mindset. It lasts for years or, if one is lucky, a lifetime. I say semi-permanent because I believe happiness can be gained through truly fulfilling feelings and events such as falling in love, finding someone who understands you, seeing your own child for the first time et cetera. But sadness can also be gained by a loss in the family,a long-lasting relationship falling apart, losing the sense of who you truly are.. And with this, I think that people get being happy and living in perpetual happiness mixed up nowadays. To me, there are two different types of feelings. One: emotion such as happy, sad, mad, tired. Two: mindsets such as happiness, sadness, anger, mental exhaustion. Like I stated before, emotions can change quickly, and they do as the average person changes emotions many times in a single hour. But mindsets are long-lasting. Sure, they can change, but it is not something that changes very often. When you are happy in your heart, that is happiness.  Happiness is not something that can be easily influenced and altered by outside forces. It is a mindset that only you can control. Hold your happiness. Take back control of your happiness from the things that are working to take it away from you. When you are happy even when things are bad, that is when you know you have achieved true happiness - the mindset.